Family friendliness pays off
What made you decide to go back to work after just a few weeks?
Well, for one thing, in addition to the “new” responsibility for my son, I have also had responsibility for my employees in the motor division since the end of July. There are around 70 of us in total and we faced major challenges in relation to the renewal in 2023. It was clear that some major tariff adjustments had to be implemented. I didn't want to and couldn't shirk the responsibility.
Besides, I really enjoy my job. That's why I told my husband right from the start that I couldn't imagine taking parental leave and at least wanted to try out whether it would work to reconcile family and career. Of course, it's not always easy to do justice to everyone involved. But thanks to my very understanding team and good organization, my plan worked, and I returned to work after eight weeks.
How did your supervisor react? What did your colleagues say?
When I told Mr. Hingst about my plan, he said: “I didn't expect anything else from you, Ms. Brinkmann. But whatever happens, take all the time you need. We're behind you.”
My colleagues' reactions varied greatly. Some were, of course, very surprised that I wanted to get back to work so soon. They assured me that it was a pipe dream on my part, but that the reality with a baby is different and that I would “still be looking around”. Others, on the other hand, have known me for several years and have been working closely with me for a very long time. They reacted positively and told me that they trusted me and knew that I could implement my plan as I imagined.
What does balancing family and career mean to you?
Excellent management! Different people have different needs every day: employees, superiors, customers and, of course, my son, who seems to develop every day. It is extremely important to organize yourself well and also to accept outside help. Jasper's grandparents are still working and live about 45 minutes away by car – my father-in-law is already in his mid-70s and doesn't feel very secure with such a little bundle of energy. For this reason, it quickly became clear to us that we would have to resort to external support – on the one hand from a close family friend, and on the other hand from a childminder starting in December. And before the question arises: if you decide to develop professionally and still enjoy being a mother, you have no choice but to seek support. That's why you may not be a “superhero” as a mother, but my child will never lack for anything. But you just have to stand up to some of the opinions of others and find the best way for yourself and your family – no matter what some other voices say.
Mothers who return to work immediately after the birth are often heavily criticized. What has been your experience and how do you deal with it?
Yes, it is, and it starts with the closest family members. For me and my husband, it was clear from the beginning that I would return to work in a timely manner. However, when I talked to my mother about it, for example, there was always the idea that my child would only be well if I looked after him or her myself for the first year or two. That is actually still the norm, and I think it's great when mothers or fathers can and want to do it that way. On the other hand, many young colleagues also want to develop professionally and then face the challenge of deciding between children and career. But that's not the case. Sometimes I just wish that my model wasn't immediately “punished”, but that people would simply open up and recognize that it is possible. On the one hand, because we as Ecclesia create spaces for this, and on the other hand, because it does not automatically mean that the child lacks something. For me, the one does not necessarily conflict with the other. In my opinion, you can be professionally successful and a good mother at the same time.
But it's actually not always easy in our environment for my opinion to be heard and not immediately met with criticism. My friends, almost all of whom have small children, also stayed at home for at least a year, even though they have degrees and want to develop further. But everyone has to decide for themselves: No matter what your position is, I would appreciate it if people would give me and my model the chance to work.
Do you have any tips for other parents?
I prefer to hold back on tips. In the past few weeks, I have realized that every situation and every child is very different and that I myself always get “hot” when I am given well-intentioned advice.
I can only encourage every employee who has to overcome similar challenges as I do. It is worth talking openly with your superiors about this topic. As an employer, the Ecclesia makes a lot possible and creates opportunities to pursue a career as a young mother or father and, at least in my team, shows understanding when there are bad days.